Wolf at the Door (Lorimar Pack) (Gemini Book 5) Read online

  The impact of those words left him weak, and he sat on his cot, elbows on his knees. He dropped his face in his hands, and I saw them tremble. His fingers blocked his mouth, but I heard him. “It wouldn’t have mattered to me if you had to…”

  A tight ball of regret mixed with hope and spiced with desperation clogged my throat. “I know.” The words rang true when I spoke them. “I appreciate you letting me go without a fuss.”

  He scoffed and pulled himself together, lowering his arms and staring at me. “You’re a strong woman, Dell. I might ask you not to do the dangerous thing. I can’t help myself. I want to keep you safe. But I’m starting to understand that if I want to hold on to you, then I have to start letting go.”

  Tears I blamed on proximity to the silver stung my eyes.

  “You came into your own while I was away.” His voice dipped. “You’re not the same woman.”

  My heart, so recently inflated, punctured. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “I’m not saying this right.” He smoothed a hand over his mouth. “I couldn’t be what you needed.”

  I had trouble swallowing. “You left because you thought I was weak?”

  “No.” His sharp denial nursed away the sting. “Let me try this again.” He pushed out a long breath. “Mom and I lived unorthodox lives for Gemini. We did it for Cam’s sake, and it was hard. Then she mated Cord and left to establish Lorimar. And Aunt Diane and Uncle Derik joined the caravan to be close to Mom. Theo has always gone his own way, so he didn’t need me.” He made a helpless gesture. “For the first time in my life, I had a choice where I went and what I did. I was free.”

  “I get it.” I was a one-night stand in a string of them for him. My wants or needs hadn’t factored into his plans.

  “No, you don’t.” He stood and paced toward me. “I would have always wondered what life on the road was like if I hadn’t tried it for myself, and you deserve better than that. I never wanted you to feel like you were second best, or that I’d rather be somewhere else, and I couldn’t guarantee your happiness until I discovered the boundaries of mine.”

  I couldn’t help it. I sniffled. Stupid silver allergies.

  “We hadn’t known each other long,” he continued. “I was used to being tied down to a single location for a year or two at a time, but you didn’t feel like a year-or-two kind of girl. I wanted to make the conscious choice—my own choice—to put down roots.” His gaze dipped as though he were ashamed. “I thought I would change my mind when I couldn’t see you, touch you. I spent all my life dreaming of the day when Cam and Mom didn’t need me. When I could be true to myself for the first time. But all I wanted from the moment I left was to come back home, wherever that was, wherever you were.”

  Quick beats jump-started my pulse. How often had I thought the same about him? Isaac equaled home. That was simple math in my book. Even when I’d wanted to tear out those pages and light them on fire.

  “You just had this epiphany?” Enzo, who had no choice but to eavesdrop due to the confined space, sounded doubtful. “You’re not bright for a techno whiz kid. You know that, right?”

  “I realized my mistake the day I got back,” he answered in a clipped tone. “It’s not like I didn’t try to call.”

  “I lost that phone.” I had yet to keep one for more than a week without putting it down for a shift and returning to find bupkis. I was starting to believe the wolf hid them on purpose. “You could have called the office, left a message.”

  “Leave a message pouring out my heart where Zed or—worse—Cam could hear? She’d call Mom and play it over the phone for her. Then keep a recording that would haunt me into the afterlife.” He laughed out loud. “No. Just no.”

  As hilarious as that would have been for the pack, I can’t say I blamed him for wanting privacy.

  “Someone as plugged in as yourself probably never stopped to consider snail mail as an option.” Enzo arched an eyebrow. “The ladies love romantic letters.”

  Isaac blinked, proving Enzo right, that the stamp-and-envelope method of communication was so foreign a concept he hadn’t considered it a possibility, but he didn’t let that stop him from snapping, “I hurt her, and I couldn’t smooth it over with a few words on fancy stationery. I came back to prove my commitment. I wanted to give her time to see I wasn’t going anywhere.” A grimace twisted Isaac’s face at his proximity to iron, but he kept coming. “I let you walk out that door without knowing if you would walk back in again. The plan was always to show you I was in this, to prove myself to you, but I can’t risk—” His jaw clenched. “I want you to know I love you, Dell.”

  The wolf threw back her head and howled, the musical notes a band that constricted my galloping heart.

  “You were right to leave.” I wiped my cheeks dry with the backs of my hands. “I was in a bad place when we met.” Exiled from the pack, forbidden to visit Meemaw, I had been brought to an all-time low. “I would have clung to you, let you save me, and that would have ruined me, ruined us. Our time apart, my time with Lorimar, has taught me to stand on my own two feet, and I needed that.” I offered a watery smile. “We both had growing to do. I’m glad you were strong enough to make the hard choice.”

  “You’re the strong one,” he said, pride thick in his voice. “Always have been.”

  One jailhouse confessional might not heal all wounds, but it slapped a bandage over the worst of them. He was right. Any number of things might happen to us here, and there were no promises we would see home again. We had been played from the moment we arrived. Honestly, the game had been in progress prior to that. And as much as Isaac had hurt me, as terrified as I was he might leave, I would rather part with him knowing my feelings hadn’t changed.

  “I’m guessing I don’t have to tell you how I feel.” I dug the toe of my shoe into the packed-dirt floor of the cell. “The wolf isn’t good at hiding her affection.”

  “I’d like to hear it.” He ducked his head. “You aren’t your wolf.”

  Before I could work up the courage to reciprocate, a clod of dirt leapt off the floor and hit me on the foot. I stumbled back, almost hitting the silver bars, as a sleek, black head emerged.

  “Sharpy,” Leon said hesitantly. “I believe you’re in a bit of a bind. Might I be of assistance?”

  The cavalry had arrived.

  Chapter 10

  I circled the púca, who wisely hadn’t left the safety of the tunnel mouth. “Why should we trust you?”

  “He said you’d say that. And that I ought to give you this when you did.” Leon vanished then reappeared and spat out a moss-covered rock with googly eyes. “That mean something to you?”

  Unwilling to enlighten him if Rook hadn’t, I rumbled a non-answer.

  “Oh, the others will be positively livid,” the stone burbled. “No one has left the stream in ages. The mode of transportation leaves much to be desired. Those teeth! I believe scars make a person more interesting as much as the next person but—”

  Mercifully, Leon muffled the chatterbox with his paw. “I can lead you out, but you’ll have to dig.” His liquid gaze flicked up to mine. “And I’ll need your word you won’t eat me, though I am sure to be quite delicious.”

  “Then we’ll need your word you won’t screw us over. Again.” Isaac snapped his fingers. “Oh, that’s right. We can’t trust you. You’re a liar and a con.”

  Leon flinched away from the harsh reprimand, his fluffy ears drooping.

  “This is my promise to you.” I glared down at the wilted bunny. “Get us out, and I won’t eat you. Lead us into another trap, and you’re wolf chow.”

  “Now, Dell,” Isaac drawled. “You don’t know what eating that rangy thing might do to you.”

  “He is quite right.” Leon twitched his whiskers. “Eating me would be a poor choice, despite—”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re yummy. Got it.” I snapped my teeth, and he jumped. “Don’t tempt me.”

  Nodding vigorously, t
he púca worried the stone between his paws.

  “We’ll have to make the hole substantially larger for us to crawl through.” Isaac and Enzo shared a lean build, but that didn’t make their shoulders any narrower. “Isaac, you want to help?”

  He shoved his arm through the iron bars of his cell, gritting his teeth while his skin blistered. I did the same, growling at the burn while clasping his wrist.

  The fingernail covering his right hand’s middle finger wiggled and fell onto the ground. A large, black spur emerged from his nailbed, and he pierced my palm with the tip. Blood welled, and he sampled me, gaining a warg aspect to summon. We broke apart the second he had enough, and I examined the damage to my forearm. A deep burn puckered my skin, and it hurt like the dickens. Silver burns healed at a pathetically human pace, and they scarred. This was going to suck. Isaac was conducting a similar inventory of his own burns, but shrugged it off to focus on his shift.

  Although Cam possessed a wolf aspect thanks to her bond with Cord, she didn’t turn into an actual wolf. Hers was a partial shift, giving her a wolf’s head and heightened senses along with a light pelt over her mostly human body.

  Geminis drew strength from their twin bond, and hers had drowned when they were children. Or so she had been told. Lori, who had remained comatose all those years after her accident, died shortly after their reunion. That left Cam capable of shifting small parts of her body to mimic a donor. But Isaac had his brother, Theo, as an anchor, and the two of them were masters.

  I had watched many people change their shape, usually from person to wolf and back, but never one person change into many shapes. Isaac’s transformations amazed me, and this one was no different. Until that moment, I’d had no idea he could complete a full shift to warg similar to the monolith aspect he donned. He must have been practicing, which begged the question of who in the pack had been acting as donor. My money was on Abram. Our pack healer believed in soul mates and in meddling and in eBay. Isaac could have won him over with a gift card and his romantic intentions.

  While I debated putting Abram on Wi-Fi probation for his meddling, Isaac flowed from two legs to four with a fluid grace I envied. No natural warg could shift with such quiet efficiency.

  Pain was the cost of halving my soul with the wolf, and I paid dearly for the privilege. She was worth the agony, though. You couldn’t put a price on the freedom that came on four paws.

  Two or three minutes after he started, Isaac the wolf shook out a thick, tawny pelt streaked with strawberry-blond tips reminiscent of my hair color.

  I won’t lie. Possessive heat welled in me at the sight of him boasting the markings borrowed from me.

  “Can you tunnel over to Enzo?” I sat on the floor of my cell. “We need to spring him first.”

  Isaac barked and started digging. It would take him a while, so I turned my focus inward and called my wolf to me. Faerie’s magic was already giving me fits, and being trapped in a silver-lined room wasn’t doing me any favors either. I wasted a good half hour reaching deep and hauling her from my core and into my arms. The prickle of fur under my skin stabbed, needlelike, and I moaned as the change locked in and my bones started breaking. Panting as muscles tore, I heaved for air, and then there was none.

  A soft whine pricked my ears, and I blinked open to find a reddish muzzle pressed against mine. I whimpered, sounding hoarse, and swallowed to wet my parched throat. I had been a warg long enough to understand what that meant. I had screamed. A lot. I hoped all the ruckus hadn’t summoned Tanet.

  With great effort, I got all four of my legs propped under me. Enzo rushed in to steady me, but Isaac growled at the witch until he backed a safe distance away. I nipped Isaac on the ear, a gentle reprimand. I had never thought to ask if he took on the personality traits of his aspects as well as their abilities or if he retained his own. The steady rumble in his chest, despite a more dominant wolf in his face warning him off, convinced me he had a bit more wolf in his blood than I had expected.

  Too bad we couldn’t tap into the pack bond to make communication easier. It was hard to tell a wolf to stop his macho posturing without lips.

  “It will be light soon,” Leon interrupted. “It’s best we get started.”

  I gave a yip of agreement and eased back from the wolf’s consciousness. She was more than happy to do as instinct demanded and dig with all her might to flush out the tasty prey that made panicked shrieking noises when she got too close. Isaac tucked in behind us, clearing out dirt as best he could. The two wolves alternated playing chase the púca until, some hours later, they breached the earth a hair outside the fortress. Or should that be a hare?

  Nails worn down to nubs and paws aching, I flopped down on my belly until Isaac emerged and nosed me to make sure I was okay. I nuzzled him back, secretly thrilled he could share this part of my life in ways I had never imagined. I was in serious danger of wriggling across the ground on my stomach, tail swishing, issuing an invitation to play. Exerting pressure on the wolf’s mind, I gained the advantage and took control of us before her excitement riled up Isaac. Pheromones were pheromones after all. He was just better able to detect them in this form.

  “Do you two need a moment alone?” Enzo climbed from the hole and dusted off his clothes. “Or would you mind completing our escape before you two finish what you started in the dungeon?”

  Isaac huffed in Enzo’s general direction but gave me room to stand and shake out my fur. Nose to the wind, I retraced my steps from earlier and located our packs. Rook had hidden them under heavy cedar boughs to conceal them and their scent.

  I gave a soft whine to draw Isaac’s attention then forced the shift back to human. It wasn’t any easier this time. Multiple changes in a short period of time sapped my strength on good days. Between the silver, the stress and the lack of meat in my diet, I was writhing in agony before I came out the other side dazed and weak.

  I shook my head to clear it and spat out a wad of fabric Isaac had stuffed in my mouth to quiet me. He noticed me coming around and trailed the backs of his knuckles down my cheek. My skin, still sensitive, screamed at the gentle touch. He must have read my discomfort as rejection, because he tackled my pack, digging out the necessary undergarments and piecing together an outfit. Enzo, bless him, had thought to bring my boots through the tunnel with him. Once I was dressed, I shrugged into my pack and hunted down Isaac where he was attempting a conversation with a shaggy blue moth wearing a bowler hat. Figuring time was of the essence and that actions spoke louder than words, I fisted his collar and yanked his mouth crashing down on mine.

  His hesitance cooled my assault, but before I could pull away, he recovered from his shock and returned the kiss with interest. He was fingering the hem of the shirt I had just pulled on when Enzo stuck an arm between us and used it to wedge us apart.

  “This has to be a wolf thing.” His expression lightened as though an idea had occurred to him. “Or is it a mated thing? You are mated now, aren’t you?”

  Having the interest of a scientist known for assisting his brother in his warg experiments fixated on me cooled the passion that had been superheating my blood. I wasn’t about to get into a discussion about the mating habits of wargs with him—or Isaac. A flush stung my nape just thinking about giving them the talk about the wargs and the bees.

  “You’re right.” I sidestepped both questions, earning a contemplative look from Isaac. “We should get moving.”

  Isaac, always two steps ahead of me, pressed a few strips of jerky into my hand to help take the edge off the roiling in my gut. He took one for himself and passed another to Enzo. “What about the prince?”

  “We leave him. He’s safe here. Rilla wants him to be king. He may not be happy, but no harm will come to him.” I considered what little of the fortress I had toured while cramming the meat in my mouth. “We don’t know for sure where Tiberius is being held, and it’s too late for sneak attacks. They’re onto us. Right now, our priority must be getting the information we have back
to Thierry so she can pass it along to the Earthen Conclave.”

  “The storm was located on top of the precipice,” Isaac added. “We still have no way of knowing if what we witnessed was a temper tantrum, or if a natural occurrence caused the lightning show in the first place.” He looked to me. “Unless the king confided the prince’s location?”

  I shook my head. “No such luck.”

  Leon cleared his throat. “I have a suggestion.”

  “No offense,” I cut him off short. “I appreciate your help breaking out, but we can’t trust you.”

  “I am dreadfully sorry.” He ducked his head, paws worrying together. “War is coming, and I must protect my clan and burrow at any cost. When stores run low and scorched earth kills the vegetation, we will eat our fill. I would have done far worse to protect my children.”

  “I understand.” I would have thrown three strangers under the bus for the promise of endless, if bland, meals during what promised to be an epic battle the likes of which neither world had ever seen. “I forgive you,” I told him, since he seemed to crave absolution, “but I still can’t trust you with the lives of those I consider pack.”

  “We part ways here then.” He rose on his hind legs and offered me his silky paw. “Should you find yourself in Faerie again, look up the Nodbottoms. We might not have much to offer, but there will be cabbage.”

  I shook and offered him a smile, all the while praying I never had to return here. “I’ll do that.”

  Quick as a whip, he whirled and leapt into the foliage to vanish into the wilds of Faerie.

  “I can backtrack to the precipice,” I told Isaac and Enzo. “From there…”

  “We cross Winter to Firn Hall.” Enzo made his stance clear. “We use the tether and return to Macon.”

  “That means delivering Dell back to the prison.” Isaac bristled at the idea. “With no prince to barter for reduced charges, they’ll toss her back in a cage.”